T w e n t y S i d e d

My brother and I have a sort of informal “game” we play from time to time. The game will begin when one of us poses the question: what if such-and-such book or videogame were translated into a movie? Who would play the various characters?

A lot of people do this, I’m sure. However, over the years I’ve noticed the game has certain unspoken rules and goals. These have evolved, on their own, through numerous geek-out sessions we’ve had over the years. Here are the “rules”, set down in writing for the first time:

1. When choosing an original work, selecting something geeky and interesting is more important than selecting something likely. Things that are not yet movies are better than things which were lousy movies that we wish we could change. For this reason, Snow Crash is better than The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It is also possible to imagine a big-budget remake of a very old or obscure movie.
2. A corollary to the previous rule is that stuff that has been done well is off-limits. For example, The Lord of the Rings is done as well as anyone could hope to do it. No further discussion needed.
3. The goal is to find an actor that looks and sounds the part, or who has played similar characters in the past. It doesn’t matter if the actor sucks. For the purposes of our experiment, we can pretend all actors will give brilliant performances.
4. The list is not limited to just actors. Any entertainer, regardless of acting ability, is useable.
5. Money is no object, and neither is the given actor’s willingness to take the role. It may be true that in real life Emma Thompson would never play Barbarella, but if you thought she was a good match (which she isn’t) then she’s fair game.
6. Since we are working in a very hypothetical universe, we are allowed to select actors from a different era or at an earlier age, although this is frowned upon. The best choices are of actors who are alive and at the age they are today. However, this rule does bend for a really great match. For example: That role would be perfect for a young Sean Connery!
7. Changing the race of a given character for a really great match is ok. Changing the gender isn’t.
8. The same actor cannot play more than one part. Even though it’s possible to do this in the movies, this is not allowed for the game. Exceptions can be made for stuff like twins.

Now, you know the rules. Try this one: Final Fantasy X. This is a challenging one because of the big cast. Leave comments below if you think you have some good answers.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.