T w e n t y S i d e d

I have ordered new glasses! That probably shouldn’t be such an accomplishment but I was raised in a very rural area and usually had to travel quite a bit to achieve a glasses prescription and a new pair of frames and lenses. Beyond that I was raised in a frugal, cash-strapped but not-really-poor household, so everything was typically pushed as far as it could go. While finances could probably have sorted out a new pair of glasses, which I’ve needed for a while, before now; *other* things just kept taking priority whether they should have or not. Honestly my new prescription is only slightly different from the previous one dated around 2020. However I should also share that I’m not currently wearing my current prescription. The glasses I got in that prescription were poorly-made and uncomfortable and the lenses got damaged early on. The prior glasses were the same prescription, but I was insistent on getting a style that didn’t support my prescription and just couldn’t be worn all day…they were just too small. That was my fault. So mostly for the past three years I’ve been wearing some glasses from *two* prescriptions ago, that also happen to be very sturdy. Sure, I have trouble focusing on small print and have to adjust where the glasses sit on my nose to see things (this prompted two experiments in bifocal transition lens that did not work; they gave me a headache), but I can drive safely. Or at least, that’s what I tell people. Hopefully this will help with my “hunching” problem at the computer, too.

I previewed several movies this week to decide if they were worth keeping, and how they were to be sorted if so. Some of these probably will be worth talking about in the future, but I didn’t do more than scan through them at the moment. One of the more notable was Kiss Me Deadly, a 1955 Mike Hammer film based on the 1952 book by Mickey Spillane, “Kiss Me, Deadly.” This Robert Aldrich film features Meeker’s only performance of Mike Hammer, condemnation from the Kefauver Commission for “ruining young viewers,” and the film debuts of Maxine Cooper as Mike Hammer’s secretary Vera (an intensely sexual role that only rarely, and many years later, featured such burning intensity) and Cloris Leachman as the reason Hammer gets involved in the story in the first place. Gaby Rodgers takes the role of the traditional “femme fatale” and the title drop (sort of). This movie is peak noir *and* sci-fi, *and* carries the sexual undertones Hammer is reputed for which never quite show up in most movies, made-for-tv or otherwise. That’s not to take away from many notable portrayals and roles, but Kiss Me Deadly is the ringer (in the horseshoe sense).

Also on the list were 1963’s Dementia 13 (also known by other titles) and 1964’s The Flesh Eaters, both known for unusual content for their period of release. Neither (as far as I can tell) is as notable as the Hammer film, although both are in fact quite good for early 1960’s psychological horror and FX.

Last session and current, I’ve been operating under the assumption that if I level up or nearly run out of spells (in Final Fantasy 1 Pixel Remaster) while traveling from one location to another, I’m not high-enough level and work on grinding in the area. Mainly by returning to the last Inn, resting, and buying new potions. So I set out from Elfheim traveling West and make it, I would guess, about halfway; three or four random fights, when I hit half of my spells used. Potions and Antidotes aren’t currently a problem, although I have started running into more monsters that can Poison me. On the sea there was one monster with a “Gaze” attack that caused paralysis, although there doesn’t seem to be a cure for that in FF1…although I haven’t tried the potion that “removes all status effects” yet. I go from level 12 to 13 and am then able to reach the “Dark Castle” far to the Westnorth of the Elf Kingdom’s lands.

The Dark Castle is ruined, as you can see. It’s not clear in the pic above, but there are a few bats flying around. In the Northwest corner of the Dark Castle is a throne room containing the Elf Elf King:

He repeats a similar story to that we’ve heard already: Astos tricked him, put the Elf Elf Prince into a deep sleep, stole his treasure (except for the treasures locked away by the Mystic Key, apparently…or maybe Astos the Dark Elf King stole the Mystic Key? Maybe I’m misunderstanding this whole story), stole his Crown, and ruined the Castle. I…guess he means this Castle? No one has actually mentioned *this* being the main castle. I mean, the Elf Elf Prince is asleep in an entirely different Castle near the city of Elfheim…surely *that* is *the* castle…right? Oh, and apparently the Elf Elf King can “restore” the castle if we can bring him his stolen crown, which has been hidden in the Marsh Cave. So; you know…go do that, Warriors of Light.

It’s not *unreasonable,* and you have to remember this is a story from the 1980’s. Doing improbable, irrelevant, tangential quests for opaque reasons was just what we were raised with. Computer-gaming-wise *and* in real life. The games are much better now.

I fight my way back to Elfheim City, sleep, and purchase items. I suspect Marsh Cave is going to take some extra effort and I want to see if anyone in Elfhelm City has developed a new phrase to share. I remember coming across two “sages” that basically said “I’ll say something important soon, check back later.” But no one has a new lesson and the Sages have received no wisdom. So, I travel West from Elfheim City again, but instead of turning North to reach the Dark Castle I turn South. Following the coastline I come across Marshlands before long, and at the tip of the continent I see a big hole in the ground, which I enter.

I have been warned about Marsh Cave. I head North first. After a few random encounters (fights…just straight up random fights) I reach a new, small cavern. This is a dead-end, but there are three easily-accessible chests in various rooms, here. A further three random encounters, none of which are hard, beats this area. A further three random encounters takes me back to the entrance in the “center” of the first cave. I exit and sleep overnight in a tent which restores my HP and all but two of my Magic Points.

Incidentally, Final Fantasy 1 is the only Final Fantasy that uses a magic system like this one (that I remember). MP are really “slots,” kind of like D&D. You start out the game with access to 1st Tier spells. However many MP per Tier you have is how many times you can cast *any* spell at that Tier. So if you have 2 MP and know four 1st Tier spells, you can cast *any* of those four spells once and then any of those spells again. I tried to say that where it is clear. Once you reach a place with 2nd Tier spells available, you can cast any of the four spells you can learn (out of more than four; you can only keep four on you, though…I haven’t tried swapping one out yet and don’t remember how it works…and that’s not even considering the Pixel Remaster might have tweaked the system a bit) however many MP you have for that Tier. At level 13, for example, I *think* I remember having 11 MP total, 6 Tier 1 and 5 Tier 2. I’m probably remembering that wrong (I don’t have a current level-up screen in front of me at the moment). So I can cast *any* Tier 2 spell on *any* turn on 5 different turns. Likewise, I can cast *any* Tier 1 spell on 6 different turns. On one casting of any kind per turn. So you could also say I have 11 spell-casting turns available. I can always use an item or attack with my weapon.

If I reach a point where I can just speed through an area only using weapons, then I’m likely over-leveled for that area. This is the goal, in a manner of speaking.

After descending into Marsh Cave again I go South to reach another descent. This new cave is only slightly bigger than the first, but has another exit in the far corner in addition to three rooms along the South Wall. I open the chests in these rooms, actually getting loot unlike the original version and the Game Boy Advance version. Those earlier versions would likely not have anything available, due to the contents actually being replicated in earlier chests available in the first cave I entered (the one just above, for the record.) The Pixel Remaster has rectified, or just changed, this issue. However I know I’m down to only one tent at this point and only have a few spells left after this cave’s random encounters, so I decide to ascend once more, sleep for the night, and use the recovered points to return to Elfheim City again. This just about drains my MP *AGAIN*, but I am gratified to notice I have reached the point of defeating most overland encounters easily. I know I still need more resources to defeat Marsh Cave as the lowest, third level is the largest, most difficult, and has a boss fight at the end. On the way back to Elfheim City I level up once again (I was getting close in Marsh Cave.)

I am tempted to learn some 3rd Tier spells; this is recommended by many people. However, I suspect just getting to the newest, and last, level of Cave in Marsh Cave may still take a full-load of MP. So in addition to the largest stock of Potions and Antidotes I’ve ever carried (20 each) I buy a couple of Tents for partial HP and MP restoration *and* a couple of Cottages for *FULL* MP and HP restoration. This has me set for repeated trips to the bottom of Marsh Cave…and I wouldn’t be surprised if we reach Level 15 before we ever see the Boss guarding the Crown of the Elf Elf King.

“Crown of the Elf Elf King.” There’s a title for ya.

So that’s it for now, see you next week!

Paige Francis He/him